It sounds like you’re trying to sell me a cursed knife
Item: Talking Knife that’s just a little too into its job
Started a new sketchbook with a Molly drawing
I love tieflings since I first played NWN2 when I was a child so I wasn’t surpised to have a crush on this guy XD
I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…
The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.
Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”
Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”
Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”
My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”
Zombie : “AARRRGH”
Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”
Zombie : “TEETH!!”
This happened to me.
Scary prison dude: HELLO
Me: Nice to meet you!
Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?
Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?
Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing-
Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad
Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
I could hear them giggling.
Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!
Me: thanks dad
A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad
i feel like counter-trolling is an essential skill that kids online aren’t learning and it’s kinda worrying
like back in my day, the day of online forums, learning how to trick someone in to getting themselves banned was an essential skill. if you could tell someone was a chud, you would ask them short, leading questions and watch them get frustrated and post longer and longer rants until they said something that would catch a mod’s attention and get them banned and/or at least publicly humiliated.
and guess what? that’s the exact same tactics the alt-right use now. these people are exclusively acting in bad faith. every interaction these people post online is done with the intention of getting someone to respond to them so they can screenshot the massive paragraphs of text and laugh
so, what’s the solution?
dare ‘em to post dick pics.
don’t acknowledge the content of the stuff they post. if you see someone trying to engage you in bad faith just dare them to post pictures of their penis until they either get frustrated and leave or get frustrated and do it. either way they lose.
this is the tactic used by the fans of a podcast (that i haven’t listened to) called the Chapo Trap House, and 4chan’s /pol/ users fucking HATE them. they hate Chapo Trap House and think they’re crazy because Chapo Trap House fans refuse to engage in meaningful debate and repeatedly demand dick pics. they get frustrated and leave. it works.
My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.
I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”
He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral
And even though that was years and years ago, I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m reading discourse on the idea of getting so attached to mental illness as an identity that you don’t want to improve things because you feel safe in it and don’t know who you are without it
I always think of that line “I miss the comfort of being sad” and my brother’s warning
Being a good person is a choice. Don’t let people fool you into believing that truly good people never have bad thoughts, are never tempted by the easier path, by the low road, never mess up or act out selfishly. Never believe a person can be good without making a conscious effort.
Every single time you do something good, you’ve made a decision to make the world a little brighter.
Goodness is not an inherent trait, it is a choice. Keep making it! I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’m rooting for you!
Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.
i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol
I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself
I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!
one time this baby I was helping with her sandwiches - she was only just one year old, I think - decided it was tiny to help me with sandwiches too. so for every piece I gave her, she fed me a bit of sandwich too.
It was cheese and I’m lactose intolerant, but she wasn’t to know.
Kids really can be the absolute best.
jonwaxerino asked:
I have never been good at drawing but it has always been soemthing I wanted to get better at. I was wondering if you had any tips other than something along the lines of "consistency is key" or soemthing like that because I truly have nowhere to start from.
thechekhov answered:
Ah, yeah!
I tend to be verbose, so I’m gonna TRY to break this down as much as possible and not go off on a 7-paragraph rampage.
TIP #1: Drawing is muscle memory, not talent.
I feel like this has been said, but I’m serious. There’s no one who was born being able to draw better than anyone else. Drawing is a mix of visual ability to look at things and mimic them and a TON of muscle memory of moving your hand on paper. Nothing more, nothing less. This means that it doesn’t matter when you start - with enough meaningful practice, you CAN git gud.
TIP#2: Consistency probably IS key. But then again, that goes for any habit.
If you are only now beginning to draw, you have to realize - it will take you TIME to train your hand muscles. You think you know how to move your hand? FOOL. Drawing requires shit-tons of minute movements. Thousands of hours trained in making smooth curves. Thousands of hours training your fingers to copy what your eye sees. Just like any other exercise, you will get better if you draw a little bit every day - not if you draw once a week for an hour.
TIP #3: Learn to move on.
I know that there’s a specific mantra around art circles - quantity over quality. It refers to the fact that, if you spend a month trying to draw ONE perfect drawing, you will end up with a shit drawing. But if you spend a month drawing one drawing per day, by the end of the month you’re gonna have at least a couple REALLY GOOD drawings within that pile of 30.
So the takeaway is - draw a lot. We’ve all heard this one before.
TIP #4: Not all practice is created equal.
I know I just told you to practice a bunch because quantity over quality, etc etc… but I’m going to contradict myself and also tell you that - if you spend hours every day drawing without thinking about it, your drawing will improve… slowly.
The key is not only a LOT of practice - it is meaningful practice. In some ways, you are more likely to get better results if you practice the skills in a specific order.
First of all, it’s things like brute-force training line consistency: Here’s a neat tutorial! Just this alone will take your drawings to the next level.
Second of all, it’s about knowing how to approach drawing by looking at basics. You might need to re-learn how to draw a stick figure! You might need to re-learn how to draw spheres and boxes! You should check out video tutorials like Proko on YouTube, if you’re into that, or at least peek at stuff like gesture drawing or figure drawing. Yeah, they’re old traditional methods but– They work! Drawing what you see in real life is the first step to drawing what you see in your head.
TIP #5: Draw for you, not for Likes.
I put this in here because I see a lot of artists fall into the same hellhole.
And look - I know! I know. Coming from me, this is just salt on the wound. “Chekhov, look, you fuckin’ get tons of notes on your stuff! You can’t say anything!”
But the thing is, popular artists don’t just pop out of the ground, hop on tumblr and immediately get their 10k note post on the first try. NO ONE does that. Being mad at artists for being more popular than you gets you NOTHING. It makes you jaded, it make you tired, and it discourages you from drawing.
So please, be careful and DON’T fall into the black hole of thinking “fuck, why is no one reblogging?” because having your art reblogged should NOT be the reason you make art. Regardless of what your art is like, I guarantee you there will be people out there who will love it for what it is. Just enjoy yourself!
That’s it I suppose. I failed at being concise.
Good luck.
we’re almost in the ‘20s and dadaism is thriving, europe’s in a shambles, everyone is broke and the right wing is on the rise so i guess we really don’t learn a goddamn thing huh
This is really the post I was looking for
“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.” Is such a brilliant line that sounds like it came outta the cigarette addled mouth of some noir detective interrogating a slimy perp, but no, it was actually Justin McElroy admonishing his brother’s driving skills in American Truck Simulator™️ and I think it’s beautiful how we can all just say words
Why do they want us dead so badly
stfu this price on food will keep me alive when I’m starving and putting quarters together to maybe stay alive until my next shift.
rich people: why is unhealthy food so cheap? don’t they know we have no self-control and will eat this until it causes health problems?
poor people: oh, thank god, something i can afford.
Five bucks can buy you so much more though if you take more than five minutes to prepare it.
Umm.
Idk where you’re buying groceries, but $5 doesn’t get me anything.
Lol they want u to live on salted pasta and nothing else. XDDD God forbid people want something cheap that TASTES good.
Like- if u have more than $5 u can buy lots of things in bulk and per serving it’s cheaper. But for just straight $5??? Fuck outta here. $5 is like the cost of one spice at a grocery store ffs
Yeah for just straight $5 I could maybe buy a bag of rice and a jar of peanut butter, and that’s honestly less complete nutrition than that fast food, which at least has some vegetables in it, some meat, etc.
Rich people don’t get that being poor actually costs money. Terry Pratchett summed it up pretty well in one of the Discworld books:
“But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”
In fact, it’s such a good example that one widely used term to describe this socioeconomic bullshit is literally ‘Vime’s Boots’
“Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and oud and “unladylike”,
Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.”
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”
- Tina Fey, Bossypants
This one never gets old.